My thirtieth year on planet Earth was ugly.
I’m fat. And I want to take a pin to my milky white breasts, to my androgynous thighs, to my regular girl abdomen, and to my fat fucking Brittany the Chipumink face.
This is me, at this very moment. Curvy!
I want to deflate that which is puffy. I want to look like this again.
And I shall.
As disgusting as it might be to admit failure, I must admit such. I slacked. I did not bicycle those 30+ miles weekly. I did not execute those daily sessions of vinyasa. Yet I maintained, even liberated my intake. And now I look like a fat pregnant girl. Yes, I took my last pregnancy test today, affirming that I am not with child (thank ‘God’), and I am prepared to get back that which I lost. By losing, I shall gain.
Therefore, I commit murder, for a second time, six days short of my thirty-first birthday.
I murder the ugly. And I exist in peace.
On a happy birthday note, thanks to my gorgeous fiscal responsibility, American Express has awarded me with two fabulous pressies during this past weekend!!!
First rate tickets, for me and the sister, to New Kids on the Block! 98 Degrees! And Boyz II Men!!!!!!!!!
If a prim and proper girl can be a groupie, then I hereby raise my hand. Stephanie and I shall enjoy drinks at a gorgeous downtown restaurant before proceeding to the concert. I want to sleep with Donnie Wahlberg. He is so handsome. Preferring Jonathan Knight back in the day (1991), I hereby surrender to the bad boy… and based on the quality of Pittsburgh chicks, I might stand a hot chance. :)
Therefore, I must be thin and gorgeous for the event. And I shall be such a bird. Like this…
Additionally, American Express Rewards has paid for my new fabulous VitaMix 200 Professional!!!
With this purchase, we have become ‘Raw with Benefits’.
The body shall morph with a clean diet.
And with yoga. And martinis. ;)
The new lifestyle is the raw lifestyle. Raw with benefits. What are my benefits? Only time shall tell.
I shan’t disappoint you. I shan’t be the fat former bulimic. I shall be the thin former bulimic. And I shall inspire.
Don’t lose faith in me.
What is your experience with the raw diet?
© Nicole Marie Story Enterprises, LLC and nicoleandgwendolyn.com, 2011 – 2013.