The Insanity Programme has been returned! Banished to the kingdom of the BeachBody Warehouse, it could not have parted my hands any more quickly. Having wasted exactly one month and $120 plus shipping on exercise that I execute in my sleep, I have determined that Insanity is for one who desires the feeling of brief challenge and quick weight loss, if it can do even that. Rough on the joints. Ugly. And manly. Insanity is not for me.
Rewind exactly one year. It was Thanksgiving week, and I published my final Kitchen Yoga segment. Since then, physically, and with regard to acceptance of my entire being, I have treaded downhill. Demonstrably. Disgustingly. I have not Owned My Yoga.
This hereby changes. Instead of sitting here, feeling my arms and abdominal becoming acceptable for a Bill Cosby Jello Pudding commercial, instead of sitting here, not being exhilarated by a sweaty, challenging practice; instead of sitting here, losing precious beloved moments on the mat with Gwendolyn snoring by its side; I shall just fucking do it!
Tomorrow, the 19th of November, at five o’clock in the morning, I begin Kitchen Yoga, Season Two. Regardless of the state of my body, fat and all, I shall publish Kitchen Yoga #1, Season Two, on the ninth of February, my thirty-first birthday. This shall afford me the time to get back into the mental game whilst my body firms to acceptable measures.
Today, in honour of the Thanksgiving Holiday, I offer to you the last Kitchen Yoga published to date. It’s a Thanksgiving special edition.
I am grateful for my mat. And for my practice. And for my blog readers. Most of all, I am grateful for Gwendolyn.
What are your recommendations for staying committed to a practice that I love?
© Nicole Marie Story Enterprises, LLC and nicoleandgwendolyn.com, 2011, 2012.
I’m assuming you won’t get refunded for the insanity that is Insanity? :(
I love the Cosby Show and actually love vintage commercials. After I watched the one you posted, I watched some others :P
Oh, no! Full refund on the product. BeachBody is totally true to their word on that. My only loss is approximately $30 in to and fro shipping. They normally pay for return shipping, but I tossed the shipping label upon receiving the package because I thought that I’d love it so much!!! Haha! I hate clutter, and it was clutter. And I wasted about 15 minutes of my life explaining this to the gentleman in India. At least BeachBody is outsourcing which I applaud. So glad that you like my videos! :D
still haven’t even put our Insanity DVD’s in the machine hahahaha, but if they’re easy for you it will probably kill me! haha,
Your yoga skills are awesome, and motivating! Keep it up sweets!
xoxo
I can’t wait to hear what you think about the programme!!!
Bonsoir Nicole!
What are your recommendations for staying committed to a practice that I love?
Hmm, let’s see:
1. As you look better and better, you will stay committed. How great you look will help you stay committed. No doubt.
2. Stick a photo of Madonna and Christy Turlington on fridge – people can make fun of Madonna, i’d rather look like her at her age than a plump housewife. http://www.kellyolexa.com/body/2011/3/27/namaste-1.html
3. Buy expensive French lingerie in which you look amazing – you will never want to stop looking great in it. Plus it was expensive to get in the 1st place! Eres is my fav: http://www.eresparis.com/en#/retourHome,en. Also Italian La Perla (but less comfortable than Eres Paris)
4. Launch a yoga line. Being so involved in the yoga biz, you’ll have too much at stake to go back to body floppiness. Christy had launched a line called Nuala but it was bought out by Gaiam (which is not that pretty, I think)
5. Promise Gwendolin you will stay committed. :)
I love you, so happy you’re going back to kitchen yoga. You look fierce in that video. It looks like cardio, because it has so much energy in it when you do it.
Bises!
Francoise
Every bit of this!
Every single gosh darn bit of this!
I am printing THIS comment and posting it to my refrigerator!!!
I’ve had a yoga line in the designs for a long time… lululemon is fab, yes, but there’s just something that I don’t love about it; and I can’t quite put my finger on it!
OH thank you.
T-minus 5.5 hours until Kitchen Yoga begins.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
PS: That lacy one piece by Eres. That will be mine, and I shall post images wearing it, to the blog.
I was thinking about you when I saw that lacy one piece, Nicole!!!!!!!!
Perhaps I’ll do my own lingerie line, too! Surely will have no qualms with modeling it publicly. ;) So excited! And flattered that you thought of moi! Taking another 3 hour nap now before kitchen yoga! :):):) i want to be super energised. x x x x x x x x x OH and temps shall be warm here tomorrow – 50s, so I’m hopping onto the trail with Gwendolyn for 11 miles or so on the bicycle! Bicycling + yoga = my formula for the most amazing body goodnight! Love you!!!!!!!!! :)
yay yay yay! you know this makes me happy!
I can understand what if feels like to have been so amazing at something, and than to have lost it a bit because of body issues. It’s confronting stepping onto the mat again, fearing you may not be where you once were. For this point I preach kindness, be kind to yourself: ok, you might have fucked it up a little, but give it a week or two and you will be back, with a vengeance. But still I asume you have not fucked it up, and you will be great anyway.
As for other advices, I guess Francoise has them all covered :-) smart puppy
9 february??? wow, that’s the same birthday as my brother, and mine the same as Gwendolyn – one day… our friendship was written in the stars
I hope you toroughly enjoyed your mat time.
love X
Your comment makes me so happy!!! The birthday thing, especially!!! Am mobile and shall reply in more detail this evening!!! Love! xoxoxo
I’ll just reply more now! stopped at a traffic light. Haha! Your words have given me the strength to keep my bottom on the mat when I’m happy with the lost muscle definition. I did fuck it up; but I’ve been known to superbly turn things around; and I shall do just that. Mwah! And the traffic light is still red; but my yoga light is green. :)
Yay! So glad you are owning your yoga again. There is no one right way to practice when it comes to style or frequency but it IS important that however you practice, that it strengthens your soul as much as it does your abs! If I find myself getting to rigid about “the right way” I know I need to change what I’m doing and try a new type (ie Vinyasa vs. Hatha) because although it is excellent to be committed to practice and to maintaining goals, it is not good to become dogmatic. I am a traditional nag champa incense girl and I like to burn some of that before I practice and at the end because I find the fragrance very meditative. But incense is not everyone’s cup of tea. I also love to have fresh flowers in my yoga space!! I guess what I am trying to say is that I think it is important to create a beautiful environment to practice in, no matter if you practice in a kitchen, bathroom, loungeroom or a special room you set aside for yoga. There are others but I’m typing on my phone and I’m wrecked from a birthday party last night that involved fabulous cocktails and dancing so I’m going to retire to my bedroom and get my required beauty sleep :-) xo.
A pretty yoga space! Amazzzing advice. Before my teacher divorced me, I would, indeed, practice with candles and flowers. Didn’t realise until now just how significantly that affected my practice. I hope you wore heels to the party. ;)
Oh very interesting-I was thinking of purchasing INSanity…but I will have to re-think!!!
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Yes! Definitely re-think! It’s such an ugly programme. If you’re looking for a pretty version of it, just by the old school “The Firm: Cardio Burn.” That worked magnificently, was less abrasive on the knees, and didn’t include an insulting nutrition booklet (haha)! Thanks for visiting my site, Elle!
I guess I can only offer the same words I say to myself when I don’t get myself out there and run: ‘remember how royally sh*tty you feel when you don’t do it.’ Your passion for yoga seems very much like my attitude towards running – if I’m slow, feeling fat, having to be *aware* of my body, I recoil from it. But that becomes counter-productive. And you are far more skilled and gifted at yoga than I am with running.
I’ve seen some of the promos for Insanity and I didn’t like the look of it either – the entire point seems to be to include to much plyometric work that you need two knee replacements within a year of completing the programme. I’ve heard of high-impact, but that’s just…well, insane.
xxx
Guess what. For the last week, I’ve been teeter tottering between A.) Returning It… and B.) Sending it to you for your upcoming very big special day! :D I am so glad that I chose the former. ;)
Ugh that is too bad you didn’t like Insanity! I am glad you got a full refund. I will agree with you on your comments about being hard on the joints. When this session of mine is done I am going to do some different workouts to switch it up. Way too much jumping in Insanity, IMO. It is building up my strength and endurance, BUT, there are other ways to do that too.
I did my first yoga class last week and I really enjoyed it! I have a lot of work to do in the way of flexibility, though, but I thought of you and Gwendolyn :-)
So happy that yoga made you think of us!!! :D
Perhaps you shall have access to online Kitchen Yoga classes in the foreseeable future, and you shall then practice with us weekly or even daily? ;) Hint hint I have huge plans in the making!!!
Protect your knees. But you know that. Even with the low impact walking that I do, my knees have been hurting tremendously as of lately. At the age of 21, I couldn’t stand up after viewing a film at the cinema because of crazy treadmill rat running and my dance history. It all went away, though, when I began practicing yoga @ the age of 27. (and has recently come back but shall go away again forever with my new commitment to the practice). Mwah!
Bummer on the Insanity stuff, but I can see the mainlyness just looking at the box. I think I’ll stick to running and spinning (and my twice a week yoga yay!) I lovee that you have found the desire and passion to start kitchen yoga again! I am so jazzed to watch from the beginning as you post this time around! Just enjoy the practice and have no expectations for anyone other than yourself. When it becomes more work than fun, it’s going to fizzle..so keep it fun!
And fun I shall keep it! Challenging. But fun.
Perfect advice, my friend!
Merci! Merci beaucoup!
Wow! You look amazing doing yoga – why not launch a youtube channel?
How long do you recommend one practice (example 60minutes 5X a week)?
And are you a former ballerina?? you are so flexible and point your toes beautifully!
I am planning to launch a Kitchen Yoga empire.
To have the perfect body, I personally must practice 6 days per week, 90 minutes per day + 30 miles of bicycle riding per week + 1 hour of daily dog walking.
Each student is different. Each body is different. There is no such thing as the “general” body. But I would recommend starting with a three day programme, four if time allows. 60 to 90 minutes per session, 90 minutes preferred.
The body must be warm before getting into the things that I demonstrate in my Kitchen Yoga segments; and I do not represent that warmth capture in these videos.
I was a dancer.
And always a circus freak with regard to flexibility.
Yoga just made me strong.
I stopped lifting weights the day before I began practicing yoga in 2009.
Thank you for your compliments. :)