“Happiness is not just thinness… it’s also GETTING thin.”
Quoting a pretty, best girlfriend, I shall repeat this mantra over and over and over again!
“Happiness is not just thinness… it’s also GETTING thin.”
It’s the process. It should be exciting! Not dreadful. One should awaken, each morning, prepared to knock business out of the park!
Controlling one’s body is like operating a business! Why didn’t I think of this sooner? Business is smart, kind, and rational. Passionate about business, I am now passionate about my body! My body shall be converted to a highly functioning, pretty machine. Again. Like an S&P 500.
Looks quite similar to this Electrocardiogram and Cardiography report, no?
The body is business.
Writing about this process in my upcoming book, “Earning Back My Yoga Body,” I am totally absolutely positively 100% committed. As of yesterday.
Breakfast.
Lunch.
Dinner, Gwendolyn’s.
The Primal Shop, closed before we could arrive for shopping, prompted purchase of Gwendolyn’s second favourite, Solid White Albacore Tuna!
My dinner, martini one.
Martini two.
Martini three.
And a delicious avocado, sprinkled in mediterranean sea salt, on my housemate’s plate.
One of these.
And lots of these.
George Clooney is my fantasy man.
Who is yours? ;)
© Nicole Marie Story Enterprises, LLC and nicoleandgwendolyn.com, 2011 – 2013.
Hi Nicole,
I am curious…
What do you think caused your weight gain?
Did it creep on after you made the switch to veganism?
Have a beautiful day!
kate
Excellent question!
Cessation of my yoga practice is absolutely what caused my weight gain.
My muscle turned to fat. So disgusting!
So now it’s back to 90 minutes of daily hardcore vinyasa yoga.
See: Kitchen Yoga Videos for my style.
Also, I have begun to eat raw fish again. Yesterday was diet kick-off, and the sushi restaurant was closed when it came time for dinner! So I settled for the avocado which existed in my refrigerator:)
Thanks for your reply.
It’s taken me so many years to figure out what my body is sensitive to (in the realm of weight gain).
Stone fruits
Oatmeal
Soy based products (from milk to yogurt to vegan meat substitutes)
Those are the 3 biggest culprits for me.
I have been a strict vegetarian for 26 years, but I still succumb to the ol’ Greek yogurt and occasional egg white scramble.
And I’m off to the gym.
Bye!
Fage cherry yoghurt looks absolutely divine at the grocery store every single day! But dairy causes my skin to look imperfect. So I won’t have it. AND, I do think that the vegan meats caused a bit of my gain perhaps… the raw fish worked at my leanest, and I love the taste hence my decision to return. Have a fab gym workout! I’m walking dogs in -13C weather. But yoga later:)
Muscle can’t turn to fat. Two different things.
Muscle burns fat more efficiently.
I’m sure you got my point.
I do agree that there is happiness to be found in the process of getting smaller, just as there may be in the end result of arriving at your preferential weight. I know that even when I was, to my sight, ‘fat’, as long as I was losing weight/getting smaller I felt good. Conversely, even when I was still thin, if I’d gained weight then I felt as disgusting and enormous as I do now, despite being over 30lbs smaller. So, I might be at the same weight, but if I’ve lost to get to that point I feel great…if I’ve gained to that point I feel vile. Shows the true power of the mind when it comes to physical perception I suppose.
I think we both know if we’re talking celebrities, then Christian Bale is my fantasy man ;)
xxx
And what a fantasy man to have! ;)
Love your reply on weight loss and gain. We so get each other! And when we reach our goals this time around, we must stay there!!! Mwah!
Mine is Ryan Reynolds :-) I agree with Jess’s comment, there was a lot of happiness for me in the process of losing weight, which was why I became so addicted ;-) Avocado and sea salt is amazing x
An American?! I’m telling James. ;)
Have been reading your gorgeous stories on my mobile but haven’t been commenting because I am still thinking out my responses. So much that I want to say! I will do it tonight. Thank you for commenting, Ms. Uniquely Healthy!!! :D
Reminds me I need to book an ECG… bleh
Can’t say your food or man choices appeal to me, but each to their own eh? My dream man, boyfriend aside, would probably be Eric Northman from True Blood (Alexander Skarsgaard, though I like him more as a vampire – apparently I like the fictional men who are likely to kill me xD)
Oh yes!!! I am not into blondes, but that man has the body that can rock a girl’s world!!! In fact, my housemate has the same exact bod. Lucky moi;)
Jessica has put it into words perfectly. When I’ll now resemble that first one of my fatty pictures I will be so happy because loosing weigth, although when I took that picture in the process of gaining I just wanted to stab myself with a giant knife and cut the fat right out of me. Well, at least I can tell myself that I’m having the fun part to look forward too, the upside of being down. I would gladly mary Glen Hansard, Thom Yorke (passionate singers) or Jason Segel (passionately funny) or Zooey Deschanel (she’s my girl crush). XX
YEP. As I got fatter and fatter over the last year, those thin photographs were repulsive to me. They were not thin photographs at all. Now they are. I think we must remember this, when we get to our desired levels of thin again. I shall fight you for Jason Segel. He and I belong together. We would watch the muppets all day every day. My girls crush? Hm, I must think on that! I think that’s a fantastic question for a future article. ;)
Gwen Stefani!
I also agree. I think there is something really cathartic about the process of losing weight/toning/whatever your goal. As much as I abhor the “before” pictures, I love seeing how my body changes when I am working on getting healthy. It is a similar joy that comes when your jeans become way too lose and you are looking for the next few sizes down. It makes all the hard work and stress of starting a program and adjusting it to work for my goals. Right now I am in the stage where I am fighting every work out, but the visible changes are what keeps me going.
On the flip side of that is the annoyance of seeing older pictures. When I start to lose weight the pictures that were taken a month or two before my process starts just make me want to curl into a hole. Of course they also serve as an excellent source of continued motivation.
Cheers.
The jeans! Oh the jeans! I have a pair of skinny jeans. They are the ones which I wore to Manhattan in October 2011. It took me nine months to fit into those damn jeans once super dedicating to my yoga programme in 2011. It shall take me nine or less this ‘final’ time around. Even tonight at yoga, I saw my body get thinner which is fucking stupid, I know, because it did not. That makes me wonder, how much of our self perception is the imagination, and how can it interpret our bodies differently than they actually exist? Mwah!
Well to answer that question you have to be ready for a little psychology….you ready? …..Here goes.
There is obviously a physical aspect to our self perception, you just can’t get past how much space we take up in a room, what size of clothes we were and actual measurements. But how we look to ourselves is a lot of perception. This ties into how we feel about ourselves and our lives. Historically people who currently have or are recovering from ED’s tend to have a very negative self perception. That is one of the reasons why it is so common for anorexics to think they are still fat (even when they may not have been to start out with). When we don’t feel good about how we look or just feel bad we tend to pick out the negative parts very quickly and with exaggeration.
If you take the two of us as examples, from what I have read here about you. You have seen the scale go up or felt your clothes get tighter. So when you look in the mirror (even though you are walking crazy amounts a day) you see all the soft spots, you see what you think are imperfections. So when you started yoga your body starts to feel better, you are working different muscles, so you see yourself “getting thinner” because you know what yoga will do to your body and how strong you feel. It probably has something to do with going back to eating fish and not the vegan proteins (which you are probably right that they aided in gaining weight). You feel like you are taking care of yourself and you feel strong, therefore you see the positive parts faster than the imperfections.
For me I see pictures from my best friends wedding and I cringe and look away, even though I know that people told me how good I looked that day and my bf really liked how I looked that day. But when I look at those pictures I see a HUGE person. But now that I started doing exercise DVD’s everyday and I know that day to day I don’t change a lot, my self perception is better because I know that I am toning and exercising and eating less food. So I walk a little taller, I smile a little more, and when my bf touches me I don’t automatically cringe thinking of all the thinks I wish my body was. This went way longer than I thought, but long story short it isn’t imagination per se. It is what parts you pick out faster the good or the bad, and how much you exaggerate in your mind what you perceive to be bad. Like I said…a whole lot of psychology.
Well, hot damn! If that’s not an amazing reply, then I don’t know what is! You’re totally right about the yoga effect being mental, and I’ll be pulling out my mat, in about an hour, thanks to your reminder. You mentioned that historically, persons with mental illness flaunt a negative self perception. Am I a case study because I think that I’m fabulous, except for my body? :)
Well you definitely are an individual who would make an interesting case study, but as far as this aspect goes I generally talk of the more general statistics. Like anything else in life there are people on every end of the spectrum. I have always known that I am a smart, intelligent and talented person, unfortunately for me my body image has always overshadowed how I felt about the rest of it.
This reminds me of the idea of “vanity sizing.”
It’s the idea that if a woman is a 6 but can buy an item labeled a 4 (even if it’s really a 6) she’s more likely to buy it than to buy the same item in the larger size.
I’ve had some wine and I’m being distracted by Project Runway so hopefully that makes sense still. :)
Bahaha! Makes complete sense, MG!
I would NEVER buy a medium, even if it were an XS, mis-tagged.
It is very much like vanity sizing. My grandma has been a yoyo dieter her whole life and one time I asked her why she was so worried about her weight (because she is 81 and does not need to lose any weight), she said it was because she liked to wear nice clothes. She has the idea that if you need a size larger than a medium you can’t get the same quality of clothes if you wear larger sizes. I tried really hard not to be insulted when she said that because I certainly a larger size than she is.
But the same theory applies. We perceive ourselves a certain way, and I hate to admit it but right now I have two pairs of jeans that fit great and they are different brands so they are two different sizes and I feel better when I wear the jeans that are labeled a smaller size even though they fit exactly the same as the other pair.
Sounds like your grandmother is my kind of lady! :)
Nicolette! Here’s a story for you. :)
When I was in my re-feeding phase (anorexia), I thought that happiness was about losing my pregnant belly and becoming skinny again. I would have killed a lamb for that to happen. Then, as the ‘pregnant-looking’ phase went on…. And on…. And on…. for a couple more years, I literally became insane, desperate, suicidal, angry, bitchy, all at the same time and 24 hours/day. Then one day something switched in me. I realized that the body was NOT going to change, until my mindset changed…. So I decided to stop focusing on the body so much, I decided to stop taking a satanic pleasure in looking at my belly from profile (hehehe), I decided to stop the insanity, and started focusing on my Fashion certificate. Yes, ironic, eh? I was taking a 3 year certificate in Fashion Design while in recovery from anorexia. But the beauty of it is that it made me super busy, and I stopped focusing on the body.
You know what happened? After 6 months, I realized something felt different. And yes, the swollen belly had gone away entirely. After 3 full years….. With no change in my food intake. And you know what? I did not feel the happiness I thought I would feel at the time if something like this happened. It just all seemed normal. My point is, as someone we both know said (OW – her initials): “As soon as you learn the lesson, it’s over”. I think the lesson for me was, “find other things to focus on. The body is not an end, just a means. Do not put too much importance on the body, because it will backfire FOR SURE if you do. Don’t play with fire”. Andy Warhol also said: “As soon as you stop wanting something, you get it”. I have experienced that over and over. I strongly believe that as soon as you stop your tight focus on your body, it will loosen up, way, way faster than by having a tight grip on it the way you do. That’s a really a promise!
Which actor do I love. You will not like it, but I like Chris Pine (Star Trek). He makes me melt. There is not really an actor I would want to “sleep” with. “sleep with” is not my thing, I am all about affection and hugs and no sex if I could get away with it. :) Also, there are a bunch of male (fashion) models that I have a crush on!
I used to like Tom Cruise, btw…. :)
xoxoxoxoxo
Francoise
Francoise-Your posts always make me smile!
I had a friend go through something similar. She had such a hard time with her body, fighting it for years, starving and binging. When she finally let it go with the eating disorder she did gain weight. But she understood it was part of her healing. And, as you said, she is now less strict with her eating and works out less (though still regularly, she’s a dancer) and has started losing weight effortlessly.
ACTUALLY, this is what happened to me when I ended the Bulimia (Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels). I figured that I’d get fat when stopping the purge, so I stopped focusing on the bod. Rather, I threw my heart into yoga. Little by little, though, when I lost the weight, I became Obsessive again. And rather than gaining control, I lost control. Smart comments, girls. Thank you. <3
You raise a most excellent point, Françoise!!! (as always).
Physically speaking, sex does nothing for me, too. I would rather kiss and hug. But mentally speaking? From the control / I won perspective? Sex does everything for me. Maybe I should change that. :) Ha ha.
Your story is beautiful. I suspect that “letting go” will not work for me so much because I am too obsessive compulsive. I know that you are, too, but you are also spiritual and delicate. I am quick and rash. I will absolutely let go of hating my body. I made so much progress, just today. But I shall not let go of the stringent control. If I let go of my Canine Sophisticate business, I’d not earn my $. If I let go of my Body Business, I won’t earn my body back. And I shall earn it back.
You are too kind to me, and I thank you for making me feel calm with your commentary. Always. And Tom Cruise? He is too small for me. I like the husky men. :D xoxoxoxoxo
Oh and I don’t have a single celeb crush…but those martinis look dreamy!
Not even Jack Nicholson? He’s my second! ;)
George Clooney is probably the type of person I’d want my man yo be in 10 years. He seems sexy and confident.
“George Clooney is my fantasy man.
Who is yours? ;)”
OK, don’t laugh, but my fantasy man is Keanu Reeves. Why? I don’t really know, except he has that boy-next-door, dopey charm, he is introverted (I am not!), and maybe I just like the brooding, dark-haired silent type. My husband knows that Keanu is my guy crush, and he thinks I’m crazy ; D
My girl crush is Kate Beckinsale (but I hate most of her movies…except “Serendipity,” I kinda sorta liked that film : )
P.S. I’m so beyond words freaking happy about your yoga class experience!
OMG.
He is such a dork!!!!!!!!!
I love you! xoxoxoxoxo
PS: I hope that you got my most recent email with your invitation!
I did! I will have to time to answer you this weekend! My first week back at work and I’m dying for the weekend : )
I wait with bated breath!
I would love to see the process of getting fit and healthy again as exciting. That way it’d be a lot easier to start…
&Male celeb? Mmmm something Travis McCoy-ish? (I know, nobody sees that one coming!) Something Beckham-ish will do as well. Obviously, I dont do cute.
My book shall document just that!!! The exciting process!!! :D
Have you seen this? I laugh so hard, every single time!
YES! I love that one. And I love Ellen. Because she likes Beckham ánd Portia. Hello good taste!
Yes!!! Portia was exactly why I gave a manly lesbian the time of day! And nowadays, I’m a prideful social liberal, haha!
Francoise, I love Chris Pine as well. And you know my girl-crush is ironically Zoe Saldana, lol!!!
:-)
I can completely relate to the refeeding struggle with body image. It’s not just adjusting to extra weight on one’s body; it is adjusting to a very, very odd-shaped post-anorexia figure that doesn’t correct itself for a long while.
The good news is, the refeeding weight does come off and the body heals itself…eventually.
Zoe Saldana is gorgeous!!!!!!!!!
She’s my thinspiration for the day!
Hey! For a moment there I thought you’d eaten tinned bumble-bee. “Eeek!” I thought. “When did that become a delicacy?”
One day I will try one of those pretzel bars!
Oh, Kezzie, I was just thinking about you!!! I am so behind on my blog reading but intend to ‘ketchup’ this evening. By the way, on my next WIAW, you will be sure to notice some raw fish! ;) Perhaps I can fulfil that explanation which you requested eons ago! The pretzel bars are delish. Send me your address, and I shall ship one to you! xo
Hans from Bitchin’ Kitchen’ yum!
LMFAO.
The name made me laugh.
But he is quite handsome. He could do the job. ;)